Four Years in Seven Posts... (3)

Geneva, March 16th, 2011

In my language, the word for nightmare is ALPtraum, and I really felt like in one of the worse of that kind. No strolling along Lake Geneva in the pouring rain and 50 degrees Fahrenheit... Not after that contact with the heart of organized crime on the planet, the Swiss banks. It's kind of contagious, too.

My recently deceased sister, the often-married shrink, had left a note that indicated that she had a Swiss "Number Account". As her will's executor, I had to check it. All I had was an address, an account number, and a password sequence. It was all marble and enough brass to keep a family fed just polishing it. Everyone was very, very polite (I wore a suit tailored by Mr. Gupta in Singapore, my van Laack Royal shirt, a false regimental tie and my second best British business shoes, and most intimidating spectacles). At my request for the account details I was shuffled into a séparée and provided with a ledger. I won't mention any details, not in a text readable by Homeland Security, the N$A, and 12 other Secret Services around the world, but my hair stood at end. I didn't know that being a shrink was that lucrative. But then again, according to that ledger, the major receipts roughly coincided with my sister's divorces. Looks like she agreed to accept part of her compensation in untaxed money.

To be perfectly honest, there was a little nasty temptation to change the password and pretend that the amount was minimal. Which, of course, I could not do. So I took a few exhibit photos with my cellular, and instructed the clerk to transfer the sum to an official account, resulting in a moderate blanket tax, which makes it official, legal, and consumable. To which all the heirs happily agreed, as it saves them plenty of outstanding taxes. We'll have to do the purchase legalities in the next weeks, and then I'll be more or less finished with the executor job.

One of the peculiarities of the German legal system is that it's pretty hard to really sell a house. Contracts have to be made before a Notary Public, who has to check the official register, and the payment goes from seller to buyer via this Notary Public. The official register will only be changed after the money is passed from Notary to buyer, and all taxes are paid. Which takes about a month as a minimum, and prevents housing bubbles... plus it keeps notaries in business.